At the Comfortable Boxers Company, we pride ourselves on our affordability. That got us thinking: What ridiculously expensive underwear is out there? Why is it so expensive? Is it worth the price?
So we’ve compiled a list of the top 5 most expensive men’s underwear. These are five pairs that start at $60 and catapult to a tear-inducing $165. From Swiss cotton to Italian silk, these undies run the gamut.
But are they worth it? Let’s find out.
Tani claims that their underwear sets a new standard, aiming for “sophistication through simplicity.” They’re targeting the posh crowd with their boxer brief that’s as Swiss as Helvetica, IKEA, and meatballs.
While these are the least expensive pair on the list, we think it’s still ridiculous to drop six Hamiltons on one pair of underwear. The Swisstouch is made of 92% Swiss cotton, but even if it was made in Switzerland, it’s still cotton, which isn’t nearly as comfy as modal.
(Tip: For $60, you could snag 4 pairs of our flagship boxer briefs. You’d even get free shipping! However, there’s nothing peculiarly Swiss about them.)
The ad copy for Frigo No. 1 Exclusive Boxer Briefs claims that the future of underwear is here. In addition to the “state-of-the-art fabrication” and “Coolmax wicking,” the briefs have a “next-generation waistband,” whatever that means.
While it sounds like a space-age discovery, the actual specs are old hat. Made prominently of nylon, the boxer briefs don’t offer anything revolutionary. They’re advertised primarily as an athletic garment––maybe Derrick Rose could afford a pair (see #1).
- Oakley Carbon-X Underwear ($135)
Warning: These underwear aren’t for the faint of heart. They can withstand the heat of a 2000º blow torch without getting hurt, and they’re worn by NASCAR drivers. At a jaw-dropping $135, it’s no wonder these underwear double as firefighters for your sensitive parts. (We know, we know, they’re long bottoms, but they’re still underwear.)
The Carbon-X underwear is a good idea––if you’re planning to go running through fire in nothing but your skivvies. While the idea is good, it doesn’t apply to casual wear. So unless you’re afraid of your rump melting, go with a cheaper pair.
It’s no surprise that the second most expensive underwear on this list comes from fashion behemoth Versace. Unlike the ad copy for Frigo boxer briefs, Versace’s description is barebones. The underwear features a Greca Medusa detail, elasticated waistband, and Barocco Animalier print.
While the brief may conjure up images of ancient philosophers and brave Grecian warriors, its price tag conjures up images of an empty wallet. It’s not even made of hand-raised spider silk; it’s made of viscose, a type of rayon.
All in all, the Barocco Animalier doesn’t live up to its name (whatever its name means). At least there’s complimentary ground shipping.
Derek Rose (not to be confused with Bulls point-guard Derrick Rose) is one of the most expensive luxury brands of men’s underwear. Their Bailey boxers are made of “Italian pure silk” and cost a painful $165. And that’s without tax!
For that price, you’d assume an 80-year-old Italian tailor crafts these by hand in his Venetian villa and delivers them to your door. (Sadly, there’s no evidence to support this.) While silk is one of the most luxurious fabrics, we have a hard time accepting the hefty price tag.
The sales page doesn’t even boast any unique qualities; instead, they claim the boxers are the epitome of sophistication. You’re better off wearing a bowtie and speaking in a British accent.
Our advice? Instead of choosing ridiculously expensive, choose ridiculously comfortable. At $15 a pair, our boxer briefs give you luxury without the luxury price tag.